Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
