The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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