Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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