I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
