i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
