Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
