this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
