No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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