theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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