You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
