so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize