did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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