How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
