My liver just broke up with me...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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