Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
