im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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