He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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