Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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