Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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