community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
