Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
