he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We talked him into tasing himself.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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