We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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