I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
