Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize