In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
