That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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