a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
