we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize