Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
