Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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