she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
