You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
