We're facebook friends in real life
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
