He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just pee around me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
