i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My vagina just clenched in fear
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
