I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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