Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
