i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
