the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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