I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
