Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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