Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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