I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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