At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
