so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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