in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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