I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
