She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
