my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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