i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
