Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
