I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
