On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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