just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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