If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
