problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
