Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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