your room smells of hookers.
And success
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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