Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
