I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
