Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
