you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize