Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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